The Shady Milkman

Bud Selig, congratulations on your new position as the absolute worst commissioner in American professional sports. After years of trying to achieve this despicable position with your ho-hum, turn-a-blind-eye attitude towards steroids and continuous refusal to implement instant replay in baseball, you’ve finally managed to dethrone Gary Bettman from the position he held proudly for so long.

When his sport continues to move forward, recovering from a damaging lockout season a mere 5 years ago, you continue to drag yours down like a 5-ton boat anchor, even when you have an opportunity to help it rise from the ashes.

You watched a young man get robbed last night: Robbed of a moment of pure ecstatic joy. Robbed of baseball history. Robbed of contract arbitration clout. Robbed of a third out. We all saw it. Yet, you are the only one who can bring justice to the matter.

Though that moment in time can never be erased, one umpire’s guilt can. Something can be added to the record books: A perfect game. A perfect game that Armando Galarraga earned. A perfect game that you witnessed with your own two eyes. All you needed to do was write it in yourself.

But nay. You’d rather hide behind your desk with a boilerplate statement congratulating the Tigers for being classy in a time when everyone expected the opposite, and say that you’ll look at all the options for expanded replay. You’d rather be ambiguous when it comes to the reason as to why you won’t right this wrong. You’d rather let this injustice remain forever.

One can only assume that you think by correcting this one, MONUMENTAL missed call, you’ll be opening the floodgates for a mountain of more complaints. Fair enough, but let me ask you this question: Did the game of baseball collapse when George Brett’s infamous pine tar incident was reversed? Would your reversal of this missed call caused nearly as much controversy as the pine tar incident? I think not.

So enjoy your new place at the bottom of the sports world as its worst commissioner. You’ve certainly done enough wrong, and refused to do enough right, to earn your keep. It’s been kept nice and warm by Bettman, but even he can see that you deserve the spot more than him.